Pe urmele lui Silviu Ardelean

Posted in Codare cu premeditare, Premiul n00bel on April 1st, 2011 by jos8cal

LE3: Am mutat filmele la noi. Viva la Revolucion!

LE2: Gingerul Pop si-a facut private orgiile cu XCode. S-a saturat de lumea mirsava si rea care nu-i intelege invataturile despre curentul C++, asa ca i-a intors spatele pentru a nu mai putea fi la curent cu ultimele pozitii in C++. Speram ca urmatorul pas sa fie cel in care isi sterge blogul dupa care filmeaza o Introducere in Sinucidere.

LE: In timp ce echipa de suflet a lui Silviu Ardelean incerca in etapa a 23-a sa-i dapaseasca IQ-ul in Liga 1, chiar la el acasa, si pe programatorul Pop l-a trecut un Silviu Ardelean si si-a transhumat orgiile de pe youtube pe vimeo, asa ca ne-am conformat si noi si am tras apa prin link-uri.

Marius Pop trece prin momente grele de carierist in pix, tastatura, if, while, for, pointeri, matrici, limba romana, limba engleza, youtube, paypal si nu in ultimul rind 100m chitara garduri. Si-a pierdut increderea in sine si a decis ca e timpul sa riste totul, sa traiasca viata pe cont propriu asa ca a renuntat sa mai ceara donatii pe blog in schimbul muncii cinstite, blog care in acest scop i-ar fi servit si de mama si de tata, nu doar de amanta.

Faptul ca a riscat totul a inceput sa dea roade. A inceput Corectarea Posturilor, sport marketat pe piata de catre Silviu Ardelean inca din 2007. E un fel de curling, doar ca aruncatorul pietrei este acelasi cu cel care da cu mopu` in urma bilei, pentru a i se pierde urma. Iata o aruncare facuta dupa manualul Ardelean, editie revizuita:

ps. am avut o eroare datorită tastaturii mele care merge când și cum vrea iar o altă eroare că am scris codul inafara funcției main, asta din neatenție

Observati logica Ardeleana de a mopa aruncarea dezastruoasa. Aparent faptul ca tastatura s-a saturat de tine si nu te mai lasa sa o bati are un efect direct asupra limbii romane, engleze si C++.

Si iata si o aruncare in limba engleza demna de o Olimpiada Ardeleana:

Since I was a kid, I like strategies games. My (geek) cousin made me addicted to Heroes III, about 10 years ago. Since than, Heroes III is my favorite game. I played Heroes IV but it’s not the same thing. That Heroes III feeling is gone in greater versions.

Disclamer: Citate date din manualul Federatiei Internationale de Corectat Posturi (FICP) 2007-2011.

 

 

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Purely Fabricated Interview Expert Pattern

Posted in Slagare internationale, Stand-up philosophy on February 21st, 2011 by Mihnea

Am aflat de la Andrei Ignat ca Scott Hanselman a publicat o noua lista de intrebari de interviu pentru programatori. Cred ca Hanselman asta e un fel de Ovidiu Cucu international, ca vad ca tot publica liste d-astea. Ca orice programator care se respecta, si eu sint constient ca pot deveni somer peste noapte, deci fac eforturi mari sa ma tin la curent cu ultimele evolutii in domeniul intrebarilor de interviu. Atasez mai jos raspunsurile mele la intrebarile lui, pentru cei 3 cititori din totalul nostru de 5 care nu sint membri pe programare.org. Scuzati limba lu’ Shakespeares, am zis sa nu break character.

What is SOLID?

YABA.

Why are patterns important?

Patterns are important because people who cannot program must be able to project importance by wielding pompous words.

Who are the Gang of Four? Why should you care?

The Gang of Four, also known as The Alpha Wankers, are four non-programmers who understood what power words are and applied the concept to programming. I care because Aurelian Popa told me that today it is more important to be “social” than to know how to program, and using pretentious jargon like “singleton” instead of “global variable” is a guaranteed way of improving one’s social status. They are not to be confused with the Wang-Zhang-Jiang-Yao group, whose name they borrowed in a spectacularly ill-advised stab at self-irony.

Explain the concept of Separation of Concerns and it’s pros and cons.

Separation of Concerns means that when you concern yourself too much with design patterns, you can stop being concerned about grammar. No man can understand the singleton pattern AND remember the basic rules of languages with immensely complex grammars such as English, so once you embrace the teachings of the Gang of Four, grammar becomes Somebody Else’s Concern. The first sign of this transcendence is putting an apostrophe in the possessive pronoun “its”.

Discuss the concept of YAGNI and explain something you did recently that adhered to this practice.

YAGNI is something YAGN, as it’s related to XP.

Are you still writing code? Do you love it?

No, I’m too busy calling my global variables singletons and speaking at conferences about it.

What do you do to stay abreast of the latest technologies and tools?

Hahaha you said breast!

How do you react to people criticizing your code/documents?

I punch them, fire them and/or write inflammatory posts about them on forums or blogs.

Whose blogs or podcasts do you follow? Do you blog or podcast?

Are blogs and podcasts design patterns? Never heard of them. Anyway, I like the color fuchsia, I am an open-minded person focused on self-improvement and my hobbies include hiking, music, reading and taxidermy. I hope this helps you determine if I’m a good programmer or not.

What is the last programming book you read?

I only ever read one, “Design Patterns”. I memorized every word. I don’t need to know anything else.

What’s so great about <cool web technology of the day>?

<generic answer>

How can you stop your DBA from making off with a list of your users’ passwords?

I didn’t know such sexual deviationism is so common among DBAs and anyway, why is that my problem instead of HR’s? Oh wait, you said “making off”, not “making out”. My bad.

What do you do when you get stuck with a problem you can’t solve?

The Design Patterns book is a complete list of solutions which are just waiting for problems. Unenlightened people approach programming the wrong way: they see problems and look for solutions. I use the sure-fire method of picking solutions from The Book and inventing problems for them. That way, I’m never stuck. Any feature or system which cannot be implemented in this way is ill-defined and not worth my concern in the first place. See also the “Separation of Concern” principle.

What’s the difference between a web server, web farm and web garden?

Wait, what? Web garden?

When do you know your code is ready for production?

When I have at least 157 design patterns in it.

What’s YAGNI? Is this list of questions an example?

Didn’t you ask this already?

Noile mele cuvinte favorite: Information Expert (a nu se confunda cu Code Expert), Pure Fabrication, Protected Variations.

LE (adica Later Edit, Ovidiu): hahahaha am aflat ce-i ala web garden. Redefinirea cuvintelor limbii engleze, in pula mea.

LLE: GoF au incercat sa si cinte la un moment dat. Punk, pentru ca si la muzica se pricep la fel de bine ca la programare. Iata-i aici prezentind pattern-ul “Old Grey Whistle Test”:

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Dezamagire

Posted in Regula 0 on February 1st, 2011 by Mihnea

Din pacate teoria conspirationista despre disparitia FAQ-urilor lui mesajflaviu pe care o expusesem in PS-ul post-ului anterior (adica post scriptum-ul, Ovidiu) s-a dovedit a fi nefondata. Probabil contributia lui mesajflaviu era intr-un fel de purgatoriu al ograzii cu experti, caci unul din cele 2 link-uri suspecte tocmai s-a schimbat la fata si a inceput sa mearga. Si mai atroce decit nedreapta acuzatie de cenzura este faptul ca aparent nu e nimic amuzant in ce-a zis mesajflaviu. Voi incerca sa compensez dezamagirea pe care v-am produs-o cu urmatoarea fila din cartea “Kōan-uri Ilustrate”:

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